Comments on Evil Slutopia: Slut-Shaming Pop Culture Moment: A 90210 Halloween...

@Anonymous: Do you realize that rapists will also...

2009-11-23T20:32:35.649-05:00

@Anonymous:

Do you realize that rapists will also rape women who aren't dressed like a slut?

Also, when a woman is looking to "hook up", that doesn't mean she'll have sex with any guy who comes along. "Sluts" can still have standards. Men need to realize that just because she's looking for sex, that doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you personally.

If a guy gets confused when a girl says no, excuse me if I don't feel so sorry for the poor little man. Being confused or disappointed is trivial compared to being raped.

Dund, it sounds like you really hate men, saying t...

2009-11-22T21:52:54.223-05:00

Dund, it sounds like you really hate men, saying they are weak, and too stupid to control themselves.

I'm sorry you feel that way, hopefully in the future you will find some good strong male role models who can teach you what being a man is really all about.

Wow. Look, there is a difference between stressing...

2009-11-22T01:11:42.275-05:00

Wow. Look, there is a difference between stressing the importance of personal safety and VICTIM BLAMING. It's a fine line, don't cross it.

Maybe it's not realistic to "count on the virtue of the man to do a 180 at the last second" but the fact remains that it's what he SHOULD do. No, it isn't smart to put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation but it's still the man's responsiblity NOT to commit/attempt rape and it's still HIS fault if he does.

-M

@TESC: 100%? really? the guy is definitely the ca...

2009-11-21T21:09:57.466-05:00

@TESC:

100%? really? the guy is definitely the catalyst in this situation, but the girl put herself in a very stupid situation. here's an example: if i dressed like a tourist and decided on a stroll through the bronx, i'd get mugged. is it my fault i got mugged? no. am i responsible for putting myself in a bad situation? hell yes.

i have another example from highschool that plugs almost directly in to this episode. a friend of mine has a crush on a guy that is a bit older than her--the bad boy/playboy type. one night he invites her to his apartment around midnight. they have some drinks and when he puts his hands on her, she says she has to go. he decides that she'd rather stay, and he rapes her. if i wanted to make her feel better for awhile, i'd tell her that it was 100% the guys fault and that she did nothing wrong. since i actually care about her, i told her that she needs to be careful about the situations she puts herself in and the the messages she's giving out (through dress, body language, flirting).

if you put yourself in a situation like that and then count on the virtue of the man to do a 180 at the last second, you'll likely end up wishing you had a little more foresight. right or wrong, it's a situation that you should take care not to put yourself in. at some point, the woman has to take _some_ responsibility for walking the plank even if she didn't jump.

-dund

dund: I'm just curious why you felt it was cool to...

2009-11-21T17:09:40.674-05:00

dund: I'm just curious why you felt it was cool to describe a woman dressing sexy or somewhat revealing as dressing "like a slut" as if there's something wrong with it. It's like you missed the whole "Slut-Shaming" part.

A lot of people do judge others based on what they're wearing. Just because it happens, doesn't mean it's okay or that anyone should feel guilty or unsafe because of it.

dund: "okay, a girl going to a party dressed like...

2009-11-21T16:10:46.759-05:00

dund:

"okay, a girl going to a party dressed like a slut--does that mean she wants to be raped? no. will guys think she's looking to hook up? yes. will they be surprised when she leads them on, goes upstairs with them, and then tells them that she's not in to it? yes."

The point is that it doesn't matter how a girl is dressed or whether a guy feels like he was "led on". It doesn't matter if he's "surprised" that she doesn't want to hook up with him, because he made assumptions and judgments instead of actually finding out what she does want. It's still 100% his choice to try to rape her instead of taking no for an answer, and it's still 100% his fault.

i stumbled upon your blog while searching for why ...

2009-11-21T08:53:01.788-05:00

i stumbled upon your blog while searching for why people call chlamydia "the clap"--and i gotta say, you've got a good thing going here. i like the way you write.

anyways, i've got to disagree with you on this post. people are going to make assumptions about you based on how you dress, and it's naive to think they won't. when a girl wears a top that shows off her tits, i think: "she wants me to look at her tits."

okay, a girl going to a party dressed like a slut--does that mean she wants to be raped? no. will guys think she's looking to hook up? yes. will they be surprised when she leads them on, goes upstairs with them, and then tells them that she's not in to it? yes.

a lot of men will tell you that they don't judge you based on what you wear, but listen closely: they're full of shit. they're saying that to a) get your approval, or b) not make you feel guilty for dressing like a slut. truth is everybody judges--it happens unconsciously.

keep writing, it's good stuff.
-dund

I really like 90210, but I totally understood your...

2009-11-20T12:23:45.441-05:00

I really like 90210, but I totally understood your points. Your comments made me laugh, they are hilarious, lol. And, I emphatically agree with your summary.

"Kelly was nearly raped due to the fact that a sleazy douchebag chose to try to rape her."