Cosmo's Recycled Sex Tip of the Month

It's no secret that Cosmo runs the same basic type of sex article every month - it always gets the place of honor in the upper left part of the cover - and they really just change up the numbers. This month it's His #1 Sex Wish, previous months have featured 12 "Bad Girl Sex" moves, 50 Sex Tricks, 125 Sex Moves, and so on. So it's no surprise that they'd eventually have to start repeating themselves a lot, but I was a little surprised to spot one tip in the December issue that looked really familiar.

There's an article in this issue called Sexy Ways to Use a Vibrator With Him. (Of course they don't mention that you could also use one while having sex with a woman, because lesbians don't exist in Cosmo-land.) Here's one of the suggestions:

During oral, hold the side of your vibe against your cheek as you take him in and out. Your wet, quivering mouth will feel unexpected and arousing.

Now where have I heard something like that before? Oh yeah...in the September issue of Cosmo!

Share your girlie toys -- wrap your hands around a vibrator and his shaft as you suck on the head, press a vibe against the base of his penis between his testicles, or place it on the outside of your cheek while you suck on his penis.

Can't they at least space out the recycled tips a little bit more? And we have to admit that we're not entirely convinced about this fabulous tip. It seems like the logistics might be a little tricky - wouldn't maneuvering the vibrator and the penis while your cheek slowly goes numb get a little annoying and uncomfortable after awhile? And how much would it really add to the experience for the guy?

After the whole handjob controversy, we're going to try to be open-minded about this one, even though we have our doubts. But we do think that they should have been more clear about what type of vibrator you should use if you're going to try this one out. There are lots of different types of vibrators out there, and we're thinking that a lot of them would really not work that well in this situation.


For example:

~Some vibrators are really realistic-looking, which could be pretty disorienting for your guy when he looks down and sees it. In the middle of a blowjob, you probably don't want him to get distracted wondering if he somehow grew a second penis or became a really talented contortionist.

~If your vibrator is too powerful, your cheek will stay numb for the next three days.

~Something that's an unusual shape and looks nothing like a "traditional" vibrator might just distract your guy from the job at hand.

~What if all you have to use is one of those discreet vibrators that's disguised as something else, like the lipstick vibe? The ones that are made to look like children's toys would be especially awkward when you're trying to pull off a sexy blowjob trick.

~Just as a general rule, it's probably not a great idea to put something called The Screaming Octopus near your boyfriend's penis. You know, unless he's into that sort of thing.

~And just imagine how sexy it would be for your boyfriend to get an awesome blowjob from you...and Hello Kitty.

Oh Cosmo, what have you done? When you recycle this tip again in a few months, please be more specific.