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January 26, 2009

AARP: American Association of Raunchy Perverts

Yes, it's true. The media watchdog group Morality in Media has uncovered some truly shocking conduct on the part of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP). Apparently, the January issue of the AARP Bulletin contains an ad for the website BetterSex.com. Now, of course we can all see the first problem immediately. Why is an organization for people who are "retired", and therefore most likely kind of old, promoting sex in the first place? All good moral people know that sex is for procreation, not recreation, so old people should be done with it anyway.

But it's far worse than just the concept of old people boinking. I'll let the president of MiM explain it:
Morality in Media (MIM) president Bob Peters has contacted the American Association of Retired People (AARP) for running an ad seeking customers for BetterSex.com.

"BetterSex.com promotes itself as providing bona fide sex education materials for adults," he notes. "I think that many people, if they looked at the content of these materials, would say this is pornography."

Besides the website's graphic and explicit nature, Peters has another objection to it. "BetterSex.com doesn't just promote adult sex education," he points out. "It also provides hundreds, literally hundreds, of pornographic movies, ...many of which you would find in an adult bookstore."

The website is connected to Phil Harvey, founder of Adam and Eve stores, which is one of the largest pornography businesses in America. The website is operated by the Sinclair Institute, established by Harvey in 1991.

Wow, graphic and explicit pornography? This sounds pretty serious. So, of course we had to head over to BetterSex.com to see what kind of twisted, immoral filth we would find there.
Who We Are: The Sinclair Institute™ and our Better Sex ™ website are leading sources of sexual health information and a classy and secure resource for educational products for adults who want to improve the quality of intimacy in their relationships. It is hard to imagine a balanced life without an enjoyable and rewarding sex life. Better Sex works with a Better Sex™ Advisory Panel of psychologists, doctors and sex educators to create award winning products such as the Better Sex Video Series ®, winner of a Telly Award ®.

Better Sex ™ Defined: Our Better Sex ™ philosophy is simple. Better sex results from mental and physical stimulation. Better sex ™ relationships include trust, intimacy, and a spiritual bond between loving partners. Our goal, stated in our motto, is better relationships, better sex ™. Better sex is an aspiration that brings pleasure, happiness, and long lasting reward. Curiosity, a willingness to experiment and learn and creating an unselfish desire to share are crucial to having better sex. We look forward to guiding your search!.
Trust? Intimacy? A spiritual bond between loving partners? I'm sure all of that sounds as immoral and offensive to you as it does to us. The AARP should really be ashamed of themselves for promoting the ridiculous notion that consenting adults in committed relationships should have access to information and products that might improve their sexual health and enhance their sex lives and by extension, the quality of their relationships. Looks like we need to get an "abstinence only retirement" movement started immediately so that old people can stop contributing to the moral decline of our society with their disgraceful intimacy.

11 comments:

Jen said...

Hilarious. Don't these groups have anything better to do?

ceirdwenfc said...

Hi Jen - Apparently, sex is out of the question for them, so they need to find another way to occupy their time until they die.

tom luffman said...

re-fucking-cock-U-lus

MsJoanne said...

Sounds a whole lot like...well, I CAN'T do it so you SHOULDN'T do it!

Viva Viagara! (Which HAS to be the GOP mantra.)

Capitalist Orphan said...

For a hilarious reason why the MiM may be right see Family Guy, Season 2, Ep 13: Road to Rhode Island.

Peter Griffin gets so engrossed in the "Relationship" videos he got to rekindle his relationship with his wife, he starts spending a lot of money on them.

Anonymous said...

Dang...now what am I am to do for fun with that husband when we retire???

Anonymous said...

Well, what if bettersex.com DID sell pornography? So what? The ad itself is not pornographic, to find the pornography you'd have to choose to go to the website and look for it and to own it you'd have to agree to purchase it. This is a magazine targeted to adults in every way (there is not even a chance someone underage would "accidentally" order pornography advertised in this publication).

What is immoral here? MiM is crazy.

Anonymous said...

I'm over 60. So's my wife. We like sex. Occasionally we use viagra. Porn is OK. Fuck you if you don't like it!

puellapiscea said...

Wow. I actually applied for a job as an administrative assistant for the sinclair institute back in the mid 90's. I didn't get the job (sniff) but they were very clear on what the did and made me take home an educational tape to watch before I could tell them I would work for them. If that was porn it was the worst porn I ever saw. Each scene would start with a soft porn type scene with some step by step instructions and after about 3 or 4 minutes would cut to an older person reviewing what we had just seen. And the video I saw was pretty basic stuff, how to perform fellatio for example with handy hints to keep from gagging. I had totally forgotten about that interesting job interview. Thanks for the reminder.

Chris said...

hilarious

Pleasure My Spot said...

Hey guys, this is simple a wonderful post. I receive the AARP magazine and saw the ad. Thumbs up!