Dumb Things Guys Say #7
I don't know if this technically belongs in "Dumb Things Guys Say", since it was 98% via text-messages (the lowest form of communication). I do think it qualifies because the idiot basically assaulted my phone and nothing can be dumber than that.
This conversation was literally painful.
Guy: 11:51 am U out?
Lilith: 12:04 am Yeah we're at B.T.
Guy: 12:06 am How is it?
Lilith: 12:08 am Pretty cool. Lots of people but not scary crowded.
[My thoughts: Is he using me as a screening device for which bars to go to?]
Lilith: 12:13 am Why what r u doing...going to C.P.? hahaha
Guy: 12:17 am Ha ha yeah, i was gonna come by and say hi but forget it wise ass! Just playing!
[My thoughts: Why would I want him to come by and say hi?]
Guy: 12:33 am Sorry about all my bullshit thanks for being understanding.
Lilith: 12:35am No problem. That's life. Life is complicated.
Guy: 12:39 am U gonna be there for a while, can i come say hi to a beatiful woman?
[My thoughts: Ew, why is he calling me beautiful?]
Lilith: 12:43 am We probably will be here a little longer but weve been out since 8:30. There are lots of beautiful women here, ha.
Guy: 12:50 am Not beautiful hippie chicks! Talk to u tommorow?
Lilith: 12:51 am Huh?
[My thoughts: Huh? 1. Does he consider me a "hippie chick"? 2. Didn't he just say he was stopping by? 3. Why would I want to talk to him tomorrow?]
Lilith: 1:00 am ??
Guy: 1:01 am U said thier were beatiful women there, if thats all i wanted i wouldnt have been honest with u.
[My thoughts: Obviously, my joke completely sailed over his head. The reason for my "huh?" also did.]
Lilith: 1:05 am Haha you have no idea what I'm saying. We aren't going to cross paths tonight. Have a good night.
Guy: 1:07 am I guess im a dope.
[My thoughts: Yes.]
1:09 am RING RING!
Guy: Why are you mad?
Lilith: Um, I'm not mad. You're just being weird. What are you talking about?
Guy: I don't understand what YOU'RE saying.
Lilith: Obviously. What do you want?
Guy: Are you going to be out there for another half hour to hour?
Lilith: Half hour... maybe, but hour... probably not. We're getting tired. Why?
Guy: Oh well I thought I'd just stop by and say hi.
Lilith: Are you stopping by JUST to say hi or are you going out anyway?
Guy: I was just going to come out to say hi to you.
Lilith: Well in that case, don't bother... because we're leaving soon. If you were going out ANYWAY, I'd say yeah pass by and say hello, but don't come out just to see me because I'm going home soon.
Guy: What are you doing tomorrow?
Lilith: I don't know.
Guy: Wanna get a cup of coffee or something?
Lilith: Um... I don't know.
Guy: Okay I'll call you tomorrow.
(call duration 2 minutes 43 seconds)
[My thoughts: Huh? 1. Why is going to stop by with the sole purpose of seeing me? 2. Why would I want to go get coffee tomorrow?]
Guy: 1:27 am If ur still there im coming by!
[My thoughts: It's been a half-hour since I told him that we'd be leaving in a half-hour. Why is he stopping by now?]
Lilith: 1:32 am leaving now
Guy: 1:45 am I'm on my way home too. See u tommorow?
Lilith: 1:57 am Dude no offense but you're annoying tonight.
Guy: 2:27 am Apologies. never happen again. Bye.
Guy: 6:20 am (blank message)
[My thoughts: What the...? What just woke me up? ...Oooh I'm gonna kiiillll him!]
Do you feel my pain?
Did anyone else notice the times? It took him over two hours of stopby-dontstopby-stopby.
Luckily I didn't get any calls from him the next day to "go to coffee".