Get your Valentine's Day (and ANTI-Vday) Gifts NOW!

Since Valentine's Day is just around the corner... we wanted to let you all know about our brand new Cafepress store... Love Sucks.  (If you order by midnight on February 8th, Cafepress will give you a FREE shipping upgrade to ensure delivery by Valentine's Day!)

This design will appeal to Valentine's Day haters and vampire lovers alike. For other vampy goodness... don't forget to check out our other similar shops:

Vamp Love

I Love Eric

And of course... for that special bitch in your life...

Maenad

It's important to remember, that regardless of whether or not you have a 'special someone' you can be with them... that a lot of people still can't legally marry the person they love. So this Valentine's Day send a message that means something... (click on images to view entire stores):


   

   

And of course... this VD, you can always give the gift of Chlamydia:

Let that ex boyfriend or girlfriend know that there's a chance they Got Chlamydia...






Or let the person you love know that you are Now 100% More Chlamydia Free...

   


Or maybe you just want to send the message that you'd like to add another person into the mix?



And well, nothing says true love like "Evil Slut"... give the gift of the clique!

  

BUY NOW in order to get your items by Valentine's Day! Although really... ESC merchandise is the gift that keeps on giving... You don't need a special occasion because these gifts make any occasion special! Happy VD... or whatever.

When Mirena Meets Mommybloggers

There are Tupperware parties, Passion Parties, Pampered Chef parties, and...Mirena IUD parties? Yes, apparently these events popped up early last year and were a joint effort from Bayer Pharmaceuticals and the mom marketing site Mom Central.

Here's one mom blogger's description of the Mirena party that she hosted:

Then tonight I hosted a party at my house with Mom Central. Mom Central had found me through this blog and asked me if I would be interested in hosting an event sponsored by Mirena. As I welcome any opportunity to sit down with some girlfriends with some free food and drink, I was happy to accept. Before the party started, I walked around nervously, terrified that only a couple of people would show up. We're all so busy, and I worried that people would end up skipping a strange commercial-sounding event. But one by one, they rolled in and I began to relax.

We had an amazing evening, talking about sex, fashion, and living a simpler life. I realized that we don't actually spend a lot of time talking about sex and relationships. We laughed a lot but also went home with some great tips.

If you're thinking that "strange commercial-sounding event" sounds like an accurate description for a party like this, you won't be surprised by what comes next. What this mom didn't mention, possibly because she wasn't aware, was the fact that the script used at these parties didn't comply with FDA implementing regulations or the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act, prompting the FDA to send a warning letter to Bayer at the end of last year. (Bayer is no stranger to FDA warnings - they recently had to "correct" ads for their Yaz/Yasmin birth control pills, which are also the subject of several lawsuits, after the FDA said they were unclear and misleading.)

Before I get into the specifics of the FDA violations in this case, let's take a look at some more details about these events. First, let's look at Mom Central. The main Mom Central site has forums, blogs, parenting tips, a product testing panel, giveaways, and so on, but it's the Mom Central Consulting site that we're really interested in. Here are some quotes from the site about what they do:

• Companies eager to tap the powerful, abundant, dominant women’s market are often challenged to target and reach Moms simply through their own internal “experts.” We at Mom Central Consulting are Mom Experts currently engaged in crafting messaging, marketing to mothers and reaching millions of Moms nationwide every month.


• TODAY'S MOMS REQUIRE TARGETED, HOLISTIC MARKETING APPROACHES that reach them where they are in their lives today. At Mom Central Consulting we create customer loyalty and word of mouth programs that: foster credibility, drive evangelism and engage Moms in irresistible brand experiences that drive sales and fuel profits.
  
  Our two-pronged targeted approach connects clients with our vast proprietary network of leading Mom Experts and Opinion Leaders and then activates Moms to become trusting, loyal advocates and consumers of your brand, product or service, making us experts at marketing to women.


• CORPORATE SPOKESPERSON BUREAU: We can draw from our pool of hundreds of talented media savvy spokespeople to create a customized corporate press campaign featuring credible experts within your product category.
  

So maybe the goal of the hosts and attendees at these parties was to have a fun night eating free food and talking about sex and relationships, but it's important to keep in mind that that's not the main goal of Mom Central or the product that they've been hired to represent. What they want to do is "activate" some Mirena evangelists.

In the case of these Mirena parties, the expert spokesperson that Mom Central used was Barb Dehn, Nurse Practitioner and member of the Mom Central Advisory Board. Barb is the author of a series of Blue Orchid Guides on women's health topics like breastfeeding and menopause. In addition to those guides, Blue Orchid Press also has a Partner Program:

Blue Orchid Press provides partners with a non-biased, highly credible communication tool that physicians perceive as a true value-add to their practice and that patients actually use, enabling partners to deliver their messages directly to patients via the most trusted channel there is: the doctor. Physicians who see the value of the Blue Orchid Guides give them to all their patients, thus potentially expanding the target audience for partner products and services, and patients who receive the Guides from their physicians actually use them on a regular basis.

Benefits of an accessible reference
Unlike a typical sales brochure, the Guides serve as a constant, easily accessible reference; with increased usage comes increased exposure to the partner's service/product without a "hard sell" - the products and services gain credibility from both the sponsorship of the Guides and from association with the perceived value of the content. Blue Orchid Guides are all fully endorsed and approved by leaders in their field.

So it's sort of a targeted, holistic marketing approach that fosters credibility and activates women to become trusting, loyal advocates and consumers of your brand, product or service? That sounds familiar.

The Blue Orchid Press site has a list of Barb's speaking engagements, including this one:

February & March, 2009: 3 City tour speaking with Moms about intimacy concerns

Based on the timing and the description, it seems likely that this is referencing the Mirena parties. So why doesn't it say "speaking at Mom Central marketing events sponsored by Mirena"? I guess "intimacy concerns" sounds better.

Nurse Barb also has a blog, Barb's Daily Dose, and last March she wrote a post called Contraceptive Convenience:

Have you ever forgotten to take your birth control pill? What about trying to track down a condom and squinting in the dark to make sure it hasn’t expired? What about not having enough time to stop at the drug store to pick up a new pack of pills? And how many times, have you tried to remember the first day of your period so you can try to guestimate if you’re fertile?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to worry about birth control?

You know what? There are 2 options out there that can eliminate the day to day, month to month scrambling.

Mirena IUD– This is method that is great for women who’ve already had a baby. It’s good for 5 years and is over 99% effective. If a woman wants to get pregnant, once the Mirena is removed, she can start trying right away. There’s no delay.

This is a small, flexible plastic device that releases a tiny amount of a non-estrogen hormone into the uterus every day. They are easily inserted into the uterus during an office visit. I’ve been inserting Mirena for years right in my office. They’re safe and reliable, and best of all don’t interfere with your spontaneity. Breastfeeding moms can use them too, because there’s no effect on milk supply and it doesn’t transmit any hormones to the baby.

To find out more on the Mirena IUD, please click on the following link: http://www.mirena-us.com

This was posted right around the time that she was speaking at the Mom Central parties. I think it would have been nice of Nurse Barb to disclose to her readers that she was promoting Mirena at sponsored events so that they could take that information into consideration while reading her enthusiastic endorsement, especially considering the similarities between this blog post and the script from the sponsored parties. She probably also could have added a sentence in there about how this "safe and reliable" birth control method does actually have some risks and side effects.

That brings us back to the FDA and the specifics about what was wrong with the Mirena/Mom Central party script. The problems were spelled out in a letter that the FDA's Division of Drug Marketing, Advertising, and Communications recently sent to Bayer Pharmaceuticals. The letter identifies four different types of violations: "The program overstates the efficacy of Mirena, presents unsubstantiated claims, minimizes the risks of using Mirena, and includes false or misleading presentations regarding Mirena." Before detailing the violations, there's some background info from the product labeling information (PI):

...The PI for Mirena also includes numerous contraindications, including “[u]ntreated acute cervicitis or vaginitis, including bacterial vaginosis or other lower genital tract infections until infection is controlled,” and “[c]onditions associated with increased susceptibility to pelvic infections.”

The use of Mirena is associated with a number of risks, including warnings regarding the increased risk of pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), ovarian cysts, and irregular bleeding and amenorrhea. Additional warnings include the risk of Mirena embedding in, perforating, or being expelled from the uterus, as well as the increased risk of ectopic pregnancy, and the risks to an intrauterine pregnancy that occurs with Mirena in place. Should a woman become pregnant while using Mirena, serious risks include pregnancy loss and a permanent loss of fertility.

In addition to the warnings noted above, the PI details the common adverse reactions that were observed during the clinical trials for Mirena. According to the PI, “Very common adverse reactions” (>10% of clinical trial patients) included “uterine/vaginal bleeding (including spotting, irregular bleeding, heavy bleeding, oligomenorrhea and amenorrhea), and ovarian cysts.” Adverse reactions that were reported by 5% or more of clinical trial patients include, among others, abdominal/pelvic pain, nausea, headache, nervousness, back pain, weight increase, breast pain/tenderness, acne, decreased libido, and depressed mood.

The PI also includes precautions that patients should be counseled that Mirena does not protect against HIV infection (AIDS) or other sexually transmitted diseases, and that patients should be instructed to check that the threads attached to Mirena are still in place after each menstrual period, as there is no contraceptive protection if Mirena is displaced or expelled.

Additionally, in regards to patient follow-up following the insertion of Mirena, the DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION, Patient Follow-up section of the PI states (in pertinent part):

• Patients should be reexamined and evaluated 4 to 12 weeks after insertion and once a year thereafter, or more frequently if clinically indicated.

Apparently it's kinda hard to work some of that stuff into an "amazing evening talking about sex, fashion, and living a simpler life". From here the letter breaks up into three sections to tackle the main problems with the script, so I'll break it down the same way.


Overstatement of Efficacy/Unsubstantiated Claims

In other words, the script exaggerates the awesomeness of Mirena without sufficient evidence to back it up. I'm going to quote extensively from this section of the letter for two reasons. First, it gives us a clearer picture of exactly what the Mirena sales pitch was at these parties.

The Mirena program is a live presentation designed for a consumer audience of “busy moms.” The program is presented in a consumer’s home or other private setting (e.g. private restaurant party) by a representative from Mom Central (a social networking internet site) and a nurse practitioner (Ms. Barb Dehn). The script of this program submitted to FDA includes an introduction from the Mom Central representative, a presentation given by Ms. Dehn regarding the use of Mirena, and a “post-party” questionnaire for the audience.

The script includes the following statements to be delivered by the Mom Central representative (emphasis added):

• “This party was brought to you by Mom Central in partnership with Bayer HealthCare Pharmaceuticals' Mirena which may help couples keep life simple!"

• “Barb Dehn is a practicing Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, award-winning author and nationally recognized health expert from San Francisco. Barb is going to kick things off with a discussion about romance and how to find simple ways to reconnect with our partners.”

After the Mom Central intro, Nurse Barb gives her own intro, which reinforces the "romance" and "simple ways to reconnect" themes. Then it's on to the sales pitch.

Following the introduction of the program, the script states that “Barb [Dehn] will begin presentation with an icebreaker - an interactive Q&A - which will touch upon issues such as busy schedules, barriers to intimacy and contraception” (emphasis added). The “icebreaker” questions include the following (in pertinent part; emphasis added):

•“How many of you feel so busy that you often can’t find time to take care of yourself? And do you think this impacts your level of intimacy?”
•“Do you ever feel so overwhelmed by your schedule that intimacy is much more of a “to do” on a list than a desire?”
•“If you didn’t have to worry about contraception, do you think you would be more likely to be intimate with your partner?”
•“Do you think if you didn’t have to worry about taking your birth control everyday, it would help you be more intimate?”

Immediately following the “icebreaker” questions, the script for Ms. Dehn states (emphasis added):

• “So you mentioned that convenience and reliability are among the most important benefits of your birth control method. One strategy that I recommend for busy couples is choosing a birth control method that allows for spontaneous intimacy and which you don’t have to think about every day, such as the intrauterine contraceptive Mirena®.”

I understand the pitch that Mirena is better for a busy mom because she won't have to think about taking a birth control pill everyday, but I think the "spontaneous intimacy" thing is a bit of a stretch. It's not like you need to take a birth control pill or insert a NuvaRing right before sex either.

The FDA felt that the claims went too far:

The above statements clearly indicate that the use of Mirena instead of other means of contraception will result in increased levels of intimacy, romance, and by implication, emotional satisfaction. These claims misleadingly overstate the proven efficacy of Mirena. Mirena has been proven to be an effective intrauterine contraceptive device. While we note that Mirena does not involve a daily routine and is not a barrier method of contraception, FDA is not aware of any evidence that suggests that women using Mirena for birth control experience an increase in reconnection, romance, or intimacy with their partners. Claims that state or suggest such quality of life outcomes, such as those described above, must be supported by substantial evidence, as demonstrated through adequate and well-controlled trials using validated patient assessment instruments to measure the outcomes of interest. If you do, in fact, have data to support these claims, you should submit them to FDA for review.

Now we come to my second reason for quoting so much from this one section. After reading this next part, I heard Kathy Griffin's voice in my head saying "Jessica, send her a muffin basket!" There's not too much I can add because this is basically pre-snarked for me:

We note that, according to the Mirena PI, at least 5% of clinical trial patients reported decreased libido as a side effect of Mirena use. Patients also experienced abdominal/pelvic pain, nausea, headache, nervousness, and depressed mood, which could adversely affect a woman’s feelings relating to romance or intimacy.

The script also includes the following statements, to be presented by Ms. Dehn (emphasis added):

• “But what this party is really about is looking at the whole picture and figuring out steps to take to simplify your lifestyle while still looking and feeling great. One of those ways is finding a birth control that is compatible with your busy lifestyle.”

The above statement goes beyond the suggestion of increased intimacy to suggest that Mirena can help patients “look and feel great.” Again, FDA is not aware of any evidence suggesting that women who are using Mirena for birth control look great or feel great. Patients using Mirena may experience various side effects, such as irregular bleeding, ovarian cysts, back pain, weight increase, breast pain/tenderness, and acne, in addition to the side effects indicated above. The experience of these side effects can prevent patients from “looking and feeling great.” Such claims of improved patient-reported outcomes must be supported by substantial evidence, as demonstrated through adequate and well-controlled trials using validated instruments to measure these outcomes of interest. If you do, in fact, have data to support these claims, you should submit them to FDA for review.

First of all, I'm really looking forward to Bayer's upcoming study on Mirena as magical pathway to intimacy. Secondly, I think it's sad that this FDA letter more accurately reflects the likely reality for many of the women who attended these parties simply by being honest about the fact that birth control has a lot of side effects that have the potential to interfere with "spontaneous intimacy" or the desire for any kind of intimacy at all. That doesn't mean that every woman is going to experience bad side effects or that Mirena won't help some women to be more intimate more often. It just means that the script says the party is about "looking at the whole picture", and the whole picture is exactly what the women in attendance deserved, but it's not what they got.

Another blogger who is also a doctor recently wrote a post about these parties. Her opinion boiled down to this: "Using moms to sell pharmaceutucals? Bayer has gone too far." I noticed that Nurse Barb Dehn actually found the post and added this comment:

HI, I'm Nurse Barb, a practicing Women's Health Nurse Practitioner and I'm the person who presented at the party you wrote about. I'm very careful in all my presentations to talk about the entire range of birth control options because of the legal and regulatory laws from the FDA.

It was question and answer get together and as inevitably happens, lots of moms had questions about sex. I'm a health educator and saw this as an opportunity to answer their questions.

I thought the wording of this comment was interesting, beyond the obvious disconnect between her claim that she's careful to comply with FDA regulations and the FDA's opinion to the contrary. She says that she talks about the range of birth control options, but that's not really the issue. The FDA's warning doesn't say that the script should have had more information about other birth control options, it says that the script should have had more and better information about the one birth control option that it was designed to promote. That brings us to the next issue raised in the letter.

Omission and Minimization of Risk Information

Here's the risk presentation from the party script:

Only you and your healthcare professional can decide if Mirena is right for you. Mirena does not protect against HIV or STDs. Candidates for Mirena have had a child, and do not have certain cancers or acute pelvic inflammatory disease. In rare cases, perforation or embedment may occur. Mirena may become completely or partially dislodged. In the uncommon event you think you're pregnant, contact your healthcare professional without delay. Ovarian cysts may occur and typically disappear. Changes in bleeding are common in the first few months followed by shorter, lighter periods. Periods, however, may remain irregular.

And here's what that script left out, according to the FDA (emphasis mine):

The risk presentation omits the contraindications regarding untreated lower genital tract infections and conditions associated with increased susceptibility to pelvic infections, and does not adequately convey that should a woman become pregnant while using Mirena, she may lose her baby or her fertility.

The letter goes on to say that by focusing on themes like "intimacy" and "look and feel great" and downplaying or omitting information about the side effects and how common they are, the script minimizes the risks and the reality of Mirena. For example, there is a really big difference between 'if you think you're pregnant, contact your doctor without delay' and 'if you think you're pregnant, contact your doctor without delay because your pregnancy is at risk and so is your future fertility'. There's an even bigger difference between the FDA's summary and the full explanation that's in the Mirena PI (emphasis mine):

What if I become pregnant while using Mirena?
Call your healthcare provider right away if you think you are pregnant. If you get pregnant while using Mirena, you may have an ectopic pregnancy. This means that the pregnancy is not in the uterus. Unusual vaginal bleeding or abdominal pain may be a sign of ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancy is a medical emergency that often requires surgery. Ectopic pregnancy can cause internal bleeding, infertility, and even death.

There are also risks if you get pregnant while using Mirena and the pregnancy is in the uterus. Severe infection, miscarriage, premature delivery, and even death can occur with pregnancies that continue with an intrauterine device (IUD). Because of this, your healthcare provider may try to remove Mirena, even though removing it may cause a miscarriage. If Mirena cannot be removed, talk with your healthcare provider about the benefits and risks of continuing the pregnancy.

If you continue your pregnancy, see your healthcare provider regularly. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get flu-like symptoms, fever, chills, cramping,
pain, bleeding, vaginal discharge, or fluid leaking from your vagina. These may be signs of infection. It is not known if Mirena can cause long-term effects on the fetus if it stays in place during a pregnancy.

Now, the risk of this happening is low because the chances of getting pregnant on Mirena are very low. But it can happen, it's extremely serious, and it's something that women need to know, especially because it might not be obvious to all of the women at these parties since it's not necessarily true of other forms of non-IUD hormonal birth control. It's also not something that gets left out of a script by accident, in my opinion.

Again, I know that stuff like 'you may lose your baby or your fertility' doesn't really fit in with the whole vision of a fun party where moms and mom bloggers talk about sex and relationships and how to look and feel great, but maybe that's because a party like that is not the right venue for the promotion of pharmaceuticals in the first place.


False/Misleading Statements

Finally, the FDA takes issue with a claim in the script that "Mirena has no daily, weekly, or monthly routines to comply with as compared to the negatives associated with other birth control methods." Actually, women are supposed to evaluated by their doctors four to 12 weeks after Mirena is inserted and then once a year (or more in some cases) after that. Also, you're supposed to check the threads that are attached to the IUD every month after your period to make sure that they're still in place, because it's possible for Mirena to "become displaced or expelled, which would result in a loss of contraceptive efficacy". Apparently the thread-checking is mentioned in a separate part of the script, but this particular claim is still inaccurate.

This error seems really avoidable to me. Would the 'best birth control for spontaneous intimacy!' sales pitch really have been hurt that much by being truthful about this? I think the women at these Mirena parties would have had no problem evaluating different birth control "routines" and concluding for themselves that Mirena's is the easiest and least time-consuming.

That brings me to my main problem with this whole thing. I want to be clear about the fact that I'm not insulting the intelligence of the women who attended these parties or implying that they're gullible or easily swayed by an obvious sales pitch, especially about something this important. A woman might decide to try a new Swiffer or a different brand of orange juice based solely on a sponsored party like this one, but she's probably not going to get a hormone-filled foreign object inserted into her uterus without any further research just because you treated her to some free chips and dip.

I'm also aware that mom bloggers have been having intelligent discussions about how best to blog with integrity and navigate the world of "sponsored conversations" for awhile now. So I know that moms/mom bloggers/women in general are smart, perfectly capable of making the best choices for themselves and their families, and savvy when it comes to these kinds of marketing attempts. I'm just not sure that Bayer and Mom Central agree with me. If they did, wouldn't they have written a script that was FDA-compliant and honest about the real benefits and risks of Mirena, and trusted women to weigh the pros and cons and make up their own minds? Giving women a free party is no substitute for respecting them enough to give them the truth.

Best Road Trip Ever!

Yes, we know we've been neglecting the comic... but there were more important things to do! But we've got a few comics lined up for February so enjoy!

[Read more: I Read While He Plays Video Games]

Blogroll Amnesty Day

Today is Blogroll Amnesty Day, a day for bloggers to share the love by linking to smaller blogs or just blogs that we think deserve more attention.

This year our pick is The Sin City Siren. (Follow her on twitter too.) Here's a piece of her latest post, just to show you why you should be reading:

Okay, okay. Are you getting sick of the pregnancy-related posts, yet? (Hopefully not.) Well, make room for one more. I had no idea there was so much about pregnancy and being pregnant in America that would spark my feminist thought-machine!

A very popular question I get these days is, “So, is it a boy or a girl?” I try my best to smile patiently as I answer, “I don’t know. We’re not finding out.”

Usually this is enough for the casual observer. But every now and then the subject really ignites a passion in the other person. They must know what gender my fetus is, damn it! They find it horrifying that I don’t know and don’t care to know! Indeed, some people are actually sort of pissed off that I do not care about this construct called gender. Or to put it another way — that I do not care if my fetus has a tiny little vagina or a tiny little penis.

“But, you must care what you get?!” They stammer incredulously. And then, almost conspiratorially, “Tell me the truth: What do you want? A boy or a girl?”

My answer is always the truth and always the same, “I want healthy.”

That’s right. I’m some sort of pinko-commie-hippie-scum! I’m a pregnant woman who does not care about the gender of her fetus! Egads!! Panic! Mass hysteria, thy name is American Culture.

Go check it out, and if you have a blog, participate in Blogroll Amnesty Day. If you're on twitter, use the hashtag #blogroll to follow other people's posts.

Extra bonus pick: It's been awhile since we linked to The Rotten Little Girls, which we lovingly refer to as the Junior ESC. Check them out too!

We were introduced to Blogroll Amnesty Day by Blue Gal, so even though it's not Podcast Amnesty Day, I also want to give a shoutout to the new podcast that the lovely BG is doing with the hunky Driftglass: Driftglass & Blue Gal Podcast. Listen, learn, laugh, love, and...um, lemon. I don't know, I ran out of L words (lesbian?) and I panicked. Just go listen.

Cosmo's 99 Recycled Sex Moves

Every month Cosmo offers so many sex tips that they're bound to run out of them eventually. (We already know that they recycled that dumb vibrator-on-the-side-of-the-mouth trick twice in a three-month period.) But we really think that they've just completely run out of ideas by now. Their past covers have tempted us with these sex-obsessed headlines:

"100% Hotter Sex" (01/10) ... "His #1 Sex Move" (12/09)

"Foreplay Men Crave" (11/09) ... "Bad Girl Sex" (10/09)

"50 Sex Tricks" (09/09) ... "Guys Rate 125 Sex Moves" (08/09)
"The Orgasm Whisperer: Every Woman Needs One!" (08/09) ... "Sex Extras" (08/09)

"100 Sex Questions" (07/09) ... "Best. Sex. Ever." (06/09)

"Sex He Craves" (05/09) ... "Sex That Brings You Closer" (04/09)

"His Biggest Sex Secrets" (03/09) ... "What Sex Feels Like For Guys" (02/09)

"Get More Pleasure" (02/09) ... "Have An Orgasm Every Time" (01/09)

"Men & Sex: All New All Hot" (01/09) ... "Sex Secrets: Arouse Him Like Crazy" (12/08)

"The Most Satisfying Sex Position" (12/08) ... "Bad Girl Sex" (11/08)

"How Long Guys Want Sex To Last" (10/08) ... "Outrageous Things Chicks Do In Bed" (10/08)

"100 Sex Truths" (09/08) ... "The Sex Position They Lust For" (09/08)

"Cosmo's Big Juicy Sex Poll" (08/08) ... "Sex Extras" (08/08)

"The Hottest Words To Say To A Man During Sex" (07/08)

"Taboo Sex" (07/08) ... "His In-Bed Body Language" (07/08)

"His G-Spot" (06/08) ... "The Hottest Things To Do To A Man" (06/08)

"Our Naughtiest Sex Q&A" (05/08) ... "67 New Sex Tricks" (05/08)

"Be a Sex Genius" (04/08) ... "Little Mouth Moves That Make Sex Hotter" (04/08)

"21 Naughty Sex Tips" (03/08) ... "Arouse Him Like Crazy" (02/08)

"The Most Satisfying Sex Position" (02/08) ... "Dirty Sexy Sex" (01/08)

I could keep going backwards in time, but I think you get the point.

As you can see, Cosmo is all about the sex, but they're bound to be running out of tips by now. (I almost have to hand it to them for selling essentially the exact same magazine every month.)  I'm sorry, but there just aren't that many ways to say "touch him on the penis!" It's reasonable to expect some repetition over two years of sex tips. But what about within, say, six months of issues? Do you think Cosmo could go six months without regurgitating the exact same sex tips? We think not. And we can prove it.

The cover of the February 2010 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine promises 99 SEX MOVES! And these aren't supposed to be the same old boring sex moves from every other issue of Cosmo. Nope! When you turn to page 94-97 for the article, it says:

"99 Hot New Sex Tips... in 20 Words of Less" [emphasis ours].

Yes, that's right. They're claiming that these sex tips are new (and apparently designed to be Twitter updates?) but sorry, they're not new at all. Not only are most of these "moves" not that interesting or exciting or different, but Cosmo has given the same advice time and time again. Either that or they've completely contradicted the advice in the past. (There may be two or three that we haven't seen 100 times, but that's mainly because they're really dumb and ridiculous, not because they're hot and new.)

1. Drop by his place unexpectedly wearing knee high boots, a trench... and nothing else.

Well if that's how they've decided to start off this amazing list, it doesn't give me much hope for the other 98 "moves". This is so tired and cliched that probably everyone on earth has thought of this idea before. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad idea, but it's certainly not brand new. If you don't believe me just google "trench coat heels naked" and see how many people have thought of it before. (By the way, even if they want to claim one of the oldest ideas on earth is "new", Marie Claire still beat them to it.)

2. En route to meet him, text your guy dirty stuff you want him to do to you once you're there.

Do I really need to explain why there's nothing "new" about sending sexy texts? How bout the fact that Cosmo gave almost the same advice in the past (including in the same issue as these 99 new moves):

...discreetly text him while you're having dinner at his parents' house and let him know what you're going to do to him when you get home. [February 2010]

To figure out if your guy would be into phone sex, send him a graphic text first. If he responds with something naughty, there's a good chance he'll be into it. [August 2009]

What can she do to ensure that she's on your mind all day?
Send me a dirty text.....33.2% [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

What sexy text should a girl send to let you know she wants action tonight?
"Busy this evening? You can do whatever you want to me.".....45.3%
"I want you inside me tonight.".....27.9%
"Tonight you're my sex slave, and I'm calling the shots".....18.7%
"Let's get dirty later.".....8% [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

Sending him a naughty midday message will get you both fired up for quitting time. Try texting something like "Warning: I'm gonna rip your clothes off when I get home." [Cosmopolitan.com]

Although wait... last month Cosmo warned us that we shouldn't send sexy texts because our guys are likely to share them:

If his friends pass around their GF's latest sexy texts for everyone to see, he may be dying to show them yours so he can be part of the club. [January 2010]

Also, we sure hope that the women taking this advice are "en route" via public transportation... because we all know how dangerous it is to text and drive. We know this because Cosmo told us so:

A major new study reveals that texting increases your risk of crashing by a terrifying 2,300 percent. [November 2009]

3. Rub his nerve-packed frenulum (where the head of the penis meets the shaft) with your thumb using medium pressure.

...place the pads of both thumbs on the underside (at the frenulum). Press firmly, massaging dime-size circles into his sweet spot [September 2009]

4. Lube up his shaft, get on top, and slide up and down against him - never letting him actually enter you.

My old girlfriend would have me pull out so she could rub my shaft against her external wetness. - Spence 22 [Cosmopolitan.com]

5. While he's kissing you, suck on his tongue seductively, imitating what you do to his penis.

As he focuses on thrusting, take his tongue into your mouth, and very lightly suck on it so your lip action mimics the rhythm of his hips. [Cosmopolitan.com]

6. Try Skype sex. Keep your camera pointed above your shoulders, so he sees just your O face.

For the evenings when you're not with your guy, bring your laptop into bed with you and use Skype [Cosmopolitan.com]

7. Lick your lips before heading downtown. It lets him know you enjoy it, making it even more pleasurable for him.

Is it even possible that Cosmo thinks they invented the idea of licking your lips? I mean, really? Can you even call licking your lips a sex move?

Wet your lips and moan that you can't wait to taste me - Sam, 22 [Cosmopolitan.com]

8. On the ride home, touch his knee. The closer to home you get, the closer you move toward his package.

This one just seems so tame and boring to be a "sex tip". It makes me think of that moment from the Brady Bunch Movie: "Your hand is on my shoulder. That's third base."

9. Ask him over for dessert. Lie naked with a few pieces of chocolate on you that he can nibble off.

Toss candy into a bowl, and take turns choosing a piece. Come up with ways to eat the treats off each other's body, like licking one off his penis or having him nibble it off your chest. [August 2009]

Not only did they repeat the tip - they even repeated the word "nibble". C'mon Cosmo, get a thesaurus or something.

10. Take his testicles into your mouth and hum. The vibration will feel amazing.

Take one or both of his testicles into your mouth ... light pressure is best. [September 2009]

Vocalize your enthusiasm with aahs and oohs while you have him in your mouth ... the vibrations will skyrocket his bliss. [September 2009] 

11. In missionary, put your ankles over his shoulders. This will lift your butt and allow him to hit your G-spot.

...lift your legs and rest your ankles on his shoulders. Putting a small pillow under your hips will help position you at just the right angle. [Cosmopolitan.com]

12. Go reverse-cowgirl, then lie down so your head is near his feet - giving him an awesome booty view.

Face his legs instead of his face when you're on top. (Hold onto his feet for balance.) He'll get a great view of your backside - a surefire turn-on [Cosmopolitan.com]

My ex used to totally thrill me by riding me reverse cowgirl-style and pining my ankles to the bed - Dominick, 24 [Cosmopolitan.com]

13. Wear boy shorts during sex (just have him pull them aside). The friction will create phenomenal friction against his shaft.

This tip was originally given with a thong:

As things get going, pull your thong aside for him to enter you. [Cosmopolitan.com]

But now Cosmo is anti-thong. They wrote an entire feature on it "The Thong is Dead!" raving about boyshorts as the thong's replacement. They must be getting a lot of boyshorts advertising revenue:

"...women have told us guys absolutely love it." [February 2010]

What type of lingerie makes you want to pick her up and carry her to bed?

Cotton boy shorts and a little tank top.....38.4% [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

14. While he's down south, have him trace sexy words with his tongue to mix things up and introduce new sensations.

Have him use the tip of his tongue to trace circles or figure eights. [Cosmopolitan.com]

15. Intensify his orgasm: As he's climaxing, firmly grab his ass and pull him into you as deep as possible.

While in missionary, this chick grabbed my butt, pulled me in... -Andy, 24 [Cosmopolitan.com]

I can tell what my lady’s craving during sex by the way she handles my ass. She grips tighter for deeper penetration... - Ryan, 21 [Cosmopolitan.com] 

16. While he's pleasuring you, have him put his finger inside you in a come-hither motion to hit your G-spot.

...by having your man slide two well-lubed fingers inside and making come-hither motions against your front vaginal wall [Cosmopolitan.com]

17. Have him sit cross-legged. Then wrap your legs around his waist to take in all of him.

She and I will sit cross-legged, wrap your arms around each other tightly, and gently rock our way to orgasm. - Xavier, 24 [Cosmpolitan.com]

Wrap your legs around his waist while he crosses his legs Indian-style, then put your arms around his neck as he holds you under your hips. [Cosmopolitan.com]

18. Pucker your lips, and make him fight to get his tongue in while he's kissing you.

My girl pretended not to want to kiss me. I had to use my tongue to pry her mouth open passionately. - Ron, 25 [Cosmopolitan.com]

19. Stick out your tongue so it's flat and broad. Lightly pat his penis against it while you're giving him oral.

Gently but confidently tap the head of his penis against your tongue [September 2009]

20. Using a silky tie, gently bind his hands behind his back. Then torture him with a slow striptease.

It's so Cosmo to not only act like binding your guy's hands as soooo naughty, but to not even recommend doing anything more exciting than a slow striptease while you've got him tied up. Boring.

Have your guy at your mercy by binding his wrists. ... Use something soft but substantial, like a thin scarf, a necktie, or the belt from a trench coat. [November 2009]

What's the absolute sexiest sight she can treat you to?
Doing a slow striptease.....19.1% [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

Tie your guys hands together with a scarf, and ever so slowly strip off your clothes in front of ihm, giving him a show he will never forget.[August 2009]

Tell your guy to lie down, then use handcuffs, scarves, or a necktie to tether his hands together so he can’t touch you. Next, you want to torture him playfully with your teasing. [Cosmopolitan.com]

21. When he's on top, lift your butt and clench your thighs right before you climax to make it more intense.

In missionary, raise your legs... and close them together. The angle lets him go deeper and makes you feel tighter. —Tina, 30

22. While out, lick the neck of a beer bottle the way you plan on licking him later.

Seeing a woman's lips glide over the neck of a beer bottle always makes me think of her mouth on me. - Ty, 21 [Cosmopolitan.com]

23. Have him suck your nipples and then slowly blow a stream of air on them for a cool, shivery effect.

Try licking ... and then blowing ... This will cause the moisture to evaporate and give chills[September 2009]

24. Stay silent until you're about to orgasm... then let yourself go. Your animalistic noises will drive him wild.

Hm, they suggested this "silent sex" tip a few month ago...

Have silent sex with a competitive twist: You each have to try your best to make the other person moan first. [August 2009]

But it seems that Cosmo is torn on the silent/noisy issue. Much more often they advise against beign too quiet:

A girl who makes a lot of noise is the best. It lets me know when I'm doing something right and makes me feel like a total rock star [November 2009]

Verbal communication is crucial. If she likes what I am doing, then she should tell me that. If she has suggestions, she should tell me those too. [November 2009]

If she's really loud about her orgasm, it reassures me that I have the green light to finish whenever I want. [November 2009]

Telling him you're about to orgasm is the ultimate accolade [October 2009]

What's something a woman may do in bed that totally turns you off?
Stay totally silent.....41.8% [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

When it comes to sex, you shouldn't be the strong, silent type. "Just like you rely on her moans to clue you in to what she likes, she needs to hear your approval to know what gets you going" [August 2009]

25. Make him "stir" by swiveling his hips in a circle. He'll hit every part of you.

Get your guy to skip the in-and-out thrusts and ask him to "stir" with his penis. He'll stimulate every steamy inch of you. [Cosmopolitan.com]


Moving in circles like a belly dancer makes you feel extra seductive, and you'll get totally tingly with his shaft rubbing against your vaginal walls. [Cosmopolitan.com]

26. Take as much of his package as you can in your mouth, and suck firmly - he'll absolutely love the pressure.

..suck on the head like you're using a straw to suck up a milk shake. Most guys aren't used to this kind of suction, so it will be a pleasant surprise. [September 2009]

....my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

27. Lie facedown with him on top, keeping your legs closed tight. This creates the ultimate friction as he thrusts.

She lay flat on her stomach with her legs together and told me to straddle her, then enter her between her closed legs. It took me a minute to realize this would work. It was a tight squeeze, but that's what was so cool about it. [Cosmopolitan.com]

Or, try man-on-top nooky by keeping your legs straight and squeezing your thighs together as he thrusts. [Cosmopolitan.com]

28. Try role-playing. Every guy has a teacher/student fantasy, so grab a ruler and make him call you Miss.

Every guy is hot for teacher!

Role-play that one of you is unexperienced and needs sex lessons. .... Then get together for the very X-rated tutorial. [October 2009]

Write on strips of paper the role-playing scenarios you both want to try: teacher/student... [August 2009]

29. Ask him to kiss your V zone instead of licking it. The gentler pressure of his lips won't overstimulate you.

Next time he's lavishing your breasts or belly with kisses, tell him, in your most sensuous voice, how amazing it would feel if he did that to you below the belt. [Cosmopolitan.com]

30. Anytime he does something you like, dig your nails into his back. It lets him know you love it.

Guys tend to be tougher than us, so feel free to manhandle. ...scratch your nails down his back [Cosmopolitan.com]

31. Rub some mint lip balm on your finger, and put it on his nipples. It'll make them tingle.

Adding minty concoctions to your mattress moves is another way to give him some spine-tingly thrills he won't soon forget. [Cosmopolitan.com]

32. Bounce while you're on top. The sight of your breasts jiggling like crazy will be superarousing for him.

Is bouncing while you're on top really a sex move? It seems a little obvious... like half of the time while you're on top bouncing is sort of inevitable.

If she has a nice rack, I'm thinking about getting her on top so I can watch them bounce. [November 2009]

33. Why you're ready, tell him that you need him inside you. That word expresses much more urgency than want does.

The hottest thing a woman can say when she sees you naked is:

"I want you inside me".....56.7%" [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

Be direct by saying something like "I want to have sex with you." [Cosmopolitan.com]

34. Spread a few drops of massage oil on your breasts before getting busy. This way, you'll slide against him sexily.

Just watch what happens to foreplay when he drizzles some over your breasts and lets his hands glide all over you. [August 2009]

35. Place your tongue on the roof of your mouth, and take the tip of him in. It's a new sensation.

We didn't understand this move the first time. We still don't.

Press the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth to protect the back of your throat. Bring his penis into your mouth; when his head hits the back of your tongue, it will give him a feeling similar to when you deep-throat. [September 2009]

36. Postshower, let him bend you over the sink and take you from behind. Make eye contact in the mirror.

... he'll be totally shocked if you jump him when he gets out of the shower. Slip into the bathroom, and position yourself naked on the sink [October 2009]

37. Have him lick the underside of your breasts - the skin there is almost as sensitive as your nipples are.

I need our readers to comment on this one. My totally non-scientific research on the subject (I asked a few friends) say that this is absolutley untrue. I'm afraid I have to agree with them... but we don't want another situation like the handjob controversy with people telling us we criticized the licking-of-the-underside-of-the-breasts move so please someone convince us that we're wrong?

38. Start the action with your hair pulled up. While on top of him, shake it loose and whip it around.

Yep, Cosmo invented shaking your hair loose. Well, Cosmo and naughty librarian/teacher fantasies... (which reminds us, see #28).


39. Let him use his tongue against your clitoris over your underwear. The indirect stimulation is perfect for that sensitive spot.

Touching through successively thinner layers will raise the intensity, so when you finally reach actual skin, it will feel amazing. - Colleen, 31 [Cosmopolitan.com]

40. Midsex, clench your puboccoccygeus (PC) muscles for five seconds.

Squeeze your PC muscles for a count of five [October 2009]

Apparently five seconds is the ideal amount of time to squeeze your PC muscles. Cosmo must have tested this.

41. Hold his penis in one hand, and flick your tongue quickly - like a snake - around the perimeter of the tip.

Flick your tongue around the base of his penis - it's typically a neglected spot. [September 2009]

Flick just the tip of my penis with your tongue. Do it over and over. - Keith, 22 [Cosmopolitan.com]

42. Keep two wet washcloths in the fridge. Postsex whip them out to give each other a refreshing cooldown.

For a real treat, pop those silky numbers in the freezer a day before you're ready for action.[Cosmopolitan.com]

43. Gently run your fingers over every part of his body... except his package.

Okay, how many times are they going to tell us to run our fingers up and down a various body part? See #45 and 68...

44. With the lights on, sprawl out on the bed before the action begins to give him the full awesome view.

Stay naked until he shows up, and let him see the flush that naturally spreads over your body [October 2009]

45. While you're on top, graze your fingers over the area where his abs meet his hips. It's supersensitive.

Snaking from the bottom of the rib cage to the hips is a powerful nerve [November 2009]

46. Have him massage your booty while giving you oral. Stress is stored there, so the combination feels really intense.

A back massage is good, but a nice, firm butt massage — that's even better [Cosmopolitan.com]

At least they reversed the genders on this one:

Take oral sex to a whole new level by caressing his butt cheeks as you're going down on him. Double his pleasure with the synchronized motions that let you control the pacing. [Cosmopolitan.com]

47. Postorgasm, gently squeeze his testicles. It'll give him a sexy aftershock.

Sexy? Maybe. Shock? Probably...

At the moment he climaxes, that sensitivity is at its highest, and for the next few minutes even the most gentle stroke may leave him reciling in pain [February 2010]

48. Sway your hips from side to side during doggie-style instead of back and forth in order to hit new nerves.

...stick to gyrating back and forth or in circles [Cosmopolitan.com] 

49. Ask him to bind your hands with your underwear. Tell him he has 10 minutes to torture you with pleasure.

More being tied up...

Telling your guy that you can't wait to get him home because you want him to bind your hands with his necktie will make his head explode (in a good way). [February 2010]

Lie on the bed with your hands tied together, and let him devour you. [October 2009]

(You'll notice that the first repetition of this "tip" was from the February 2010 issue. The same one that move #49 is in. Go Cosmo!)

50. Place one hand at the base of his shaft, and twist the tip with the other - like you're opening a jar.

Put one hand at the base of his shaft and the other right on top of it. Then firmly grip him as you move your hands in opposite directions, twisting at the same time. [October 2009]

Grasp the lower shaft of his penis with one fisted hand and the upper part of his penis with your other fisted hand ... Then lightly twist your hands in opposite directions, as though you're wringing a towel dry. [September 2009]

Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can. - Jaime, 30 [Cosmopolitan.com]

51. Rub your hands together for a few seconds before touching his junk. Your warm hands will make things much hotter.

Wait, is Cosmo trying to tell us that warm hands feel better on a naked penis than cold hands? They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel for "sex tips".


52. When you think he's about to blow, pinch his nipples. This sends lots of guys over the edge.

News flash: Guys have nipples too, and they're a lot more sensitive than you'd think. [Cosmopolitan.com]

My girlfriend and I grabbed each other’s nipples during sex and squeezed them in sync with every thrust. The mix of pain and pleasure took me over the top. —Ronaldo, 24 [Cosmopolitan.com]

53. Keep your lips tense when using them on his member - the firmer, the better.

Just remember not to keep them too firm:

Cover your teeth with your lips [Cosmopolitan.com]

54. During missionary sex, place your feet on his chest with your legs crossed to create an extra snug grip.

Spice up missionary style and feel superdeep penetration by drawing your knees toward your chest and grasping the back of your thighs. You can also place the soles of your feet on his chest [Cosmopolitan.com]

55. Lightly wrap a cheap beaded necklace around his package, and then move it back and forth.

For another surprising texture, try looping a faux pearl necklace around his well-lubed penis and lightly rolling it back and forth... [September 2009] 

56. Try no-hands foreplay. Your only allowed to touch each other using other body parts: lips, breasts, hair, feet...

Press his penis against surprising parts of your body. Ideas: Hold it against your inner thigh to teach him like crazy; touch the tip of his penis against your breast, and rub his frenulum against your nipple; or bring the side of his against the outisde of one of your cheeks [September 2009]

Tell him to keep his hands to himself. You can explore each other's bodies with your lips, tongues, and breath. [Cosmopolitan.com]

If your hair is long enough, lightly drag it over his penis and testicles, all the way up his chest, and back down. [September 2009]

57. Hold some sparkling water in your mouth while giving him oral. The bubbles plus warmth will make him quiver.

I had a girl take a sip of champagne and then pop a mint into her mouth before going down on me. The bubbles dissolved the mint faster and made it so tingly that I almost exploded! —Eric, 25 [Cosmopolitan.com]

58. Try lube ice cubes (sold at drugstores). Your body heat melts them, making sex slippery and steamy.

...freezable lubes (try Durex Quiver) work like an ice cube at first, then melt - perfect for summer nights. [August 2009]

59. Lean over the arm of the couch, and let him give you oral from behind - the position exposes different spots.

There's something so taboo about giving a girl oral from behind - Ian, 18 [Cosmopolitan.com]

60. Lick his shaft, then breath hot air onto it. The warming combo of your tongue and breath is killer.

...breathe on it with your mouth wide open, like you would blow on your hands to warm them on a cold day. The sexy heat will be intense. [September 2009]

61. Try an arousal oil, like Zestra or Intrigue, to make your lady parts more sensitive.

Warming lubes (try KY Intense) can boost arousal by increasing blood flow to your clitoris [August 2009]

62. Have sex in an empty bathtub. The confined space keeps you close and forces you to get creative.

Okay, I will give this one to Cosmo. I have never heard of this particular tip before. Maybe that's because it... seems pretty unsexy? So you get the cold, hard surface of bath sex without all the fun of being in water? If you want to get fucked somewhere very uncomfortable, just do it in the back of a volkswagon.


63. Lift your hips a bit while riding him so he can see himself moving in and out of you.

With him in a seated position, straddle him, then place his hands on your hips to keep you secure, and lean all the way back ...Your body will be completely exposed to him, giving him an incredible 'Oh, my God' erotic view as he moves in and out. [October 2009]

64. Sit in a chair while he gives you oral. It opens you up more and is easier for him.

Chair... couch... bed... table... it's all the same idea. See #87.

65. Try 69, but instead of lying on top, lie side by side.

...try the side-by-side configuration: Lie on your sides, with your mouths directly in front of each other's genitals. Bend your top legs at the knee and put your feet flat on the mattress. Then you can rest your heads on the lower thigh. [Cosmopolitan.com]  

66. Put two pillows under your butt when he's on top to help him hit your G-spot.

I had a fling with a girl who would prop her hips up with stack of pillows... - Jeremy, 25 [Cosmopolitan.com]

Putting a small pillow under your hips will help position you at just the right angle. [Cosmopolitan.com]

67. When he's about to finish, switch positions. Go from doggie-style to spooning or girl-on-top to reverse-cowgirl.

...change positions or tweak the one you're already in. If you're on top, for example, switch so you're facing way from him. [August 2009]

Oh my god? We can change positions mid-sex? I didn't know that was allowed! Scandalous!

68. Sit behind him, press your breasts against his back, and run your fingers up and down his chest.

...press your bare breasts against his back. Reach around to the front of him, and trail your fingers down his chest until you reach his boxers. [January 2010]

...press your chest into his back so it looks like you're just giving him a playful hug from behind. Then subtly rub your breasts and pelvis against him for several lingering seconds. [December 2009]

Approach him from behind and rub your breasts against his sudsy back [September 2009]

69. Keep on a blingly necklace during sex. It'll draw extra attention to your girls.

My girl changes her look when we have sex, like by keeping her jewelry on... —Vin, 27 [Cosmopolitan.com]

70. Before he becomes hard (and gets too big), take his whole penis in your mouth.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
 

71. Set your cell-phone alarm for 3 a.m., and then wake him up for a quickie.

I don't know about this one... it just smacks of that "planned spontaneity" that Cosmo loves. W]e're all for the middle-of-the-night quickie but why not let it happen naturally?

72. Have him place a finger inside you, and put one of yours in too. Doing it together feels totally erotic.

Another hands-on advantage: You take charge of your orgasmic destiny. "When a guy can't find my G-spot, I'll gently take his fingers and guide them ... He still gets to be the source of my pleasure, but I'm the one exploding with ecstasy." [Cosmopolitan.com]

When I put a finger in my girl, she inserted one of her digits so I could feel our fingers together. - Sandy 29 [Cosmopolitan.com]

73. Wear a leather belt around your naked waist during doggie style. He can pull on it to create more bounce.

This is like Cosmo's vanilla-version of wearing a collar or bondage harness?

My girlfriend once left on a leather belt while I took her from behind. The image of leather jostling back and forth with each thrust... wow - Rich, 27 [Cosmopolitan.com]

74. Let him finish on your naked breasts.

You know what... fuck that. I'm not even going to go looking or an issue where Cosmo repeated this tip. Anyone who has ever watched porn knows about this move.

75. Suck his tip while lightly running your nails up and down his shaft.

I go wild when a girl sucks the head of my penis while running her nails up and down my shaft - Karl, 23 [Cosmopolitan.com]

76. Write him a graphic note, and slip it in his pocket when he's leaving to turn him on.

...slip one of these cards into his pocket in the morning so he'll find it at work... and then fantasize about you for the rest of the day. [February 2010]

77. Have him fold his tongue like a taco and put it inside you. Then have him flatten it out.

Hm. Well first of all, using the word "taco" for anything related to sex automatically turns me off. But... I'm confused how exactly one folds his tongue like a taco anyway. Are we talking about a horizontal or vertical fold? Isn't that one of those things that only certain people can do? Please advise.

78. Rub the tip of his penis against your lips, like you're applying lipstick.

Honestly, we thought they were making this one up... until we saw this:

Rub my penis against your lips like you're applying lipstick - Henry 23

79. Keep him inside you post-sex. Wait a bit, then clench your PC muscles to get him hard for round two.

Hm, that doesn't seem like a good idea, especially not if he's wearing a condom. Because all you really need is for the condom to slip off and get lost inside you.

After climax, it's uncomfortable to wilt inside a condom. Your guy will love it if you remove his condom right away... - Justin, 29 [Cosmopolitan.com]

80. Tweak your own nipples, and let him watch.

...fondle your breasts and nipples with your hands. Tell him that he's turning you on so much, you just can't help but touch yourself. [December 2009]

Start by touching your own nipples with one hand [October 2009]

...slowly trace each nipple with your fingers... The sight of your hands anywhere on your own body will drive him crazy. [August 2009]

81. Straddle him and pull your knees up so he gets a carnal view during sex.

Straddle me, then bring your knees up to your breasts, so I can see and feel you at the same time." --Gregory, 34 [Cosmopolitan.com]

82. Kiss him, then lean in and say "You make me so wet" to get things going.

The final physical response your guy should interpret cautiously: the amount of lubrication you produce. Experts say that how wet you are doesn't necessarily reflect how turned on you are, just as it's also true that sometimes your body effortlessly produces motion lotion when you're not ready to rumble. [Cosmopolitan.com]

83. Take him in at an angle so his tip hits your cheek - the softness feels great on that sensitive spot.

Guide his penis at an angle inside your mouth so that it hits the inside of one cheek ... The soft texture of your cheek will feel good on his tip. [September 2009]

84. Turn your vibrator on low, and place it against the underside of his shaft.

If she pulls out a vibrator, part of me feels like Johnny Boy isn't getting the job done. On the other hand, I feel like it's going to be an interesting night. [November 2009]

Share your girlie toys -- wrap your hands around a vibrator and his shaft as you suck on the head, press a vibe against the base of his penis between his testicles [September 2009]

What kind of sexy prop would you love to bring into bed?

A vibrator or vibrating ring.....26.1% [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

85. Skip the whipped cream and try pudding. It is less sticky and feels cool on your skin.

What kind of sexy prop would you love to bring into bed?

Whipped cream or chocolate sauce.....22.7% [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

 

86. Dim the lights, prop your back against the headboard, and give him a solo-sex show.

...let him watch you masturbate [October 2009]

...slowly touch yourself in front of him [September 2009]

What the absolute sexiest sight she can treat you to?

Touching herself in front of me.....34% [The Cosmo Sex Poll, August 2009]

87. Try lying spread-eagle while receiving oral - many chicks close their body (like by crossing their arms).

My fiance will lean back on the bed and use her fingers to spread herself wide, as if she's inviting me to explore her body. - Art, 29 [Cosmopolitan.com]

 88. Hop in the shower with him while wearing nothing but a white tee.

An ex once came to bed in a soaking wet white tee shirt. The sight was jaw-dropping. - Nick, 30 [Cosmopolitan.com]

89. Put your hand at the base of his penis. Move it to meet your mouth as you bob your head.

Okay, please read that one again. They just described... a blow job. A simple blowjob with no frills or extras. Why is a blowjob on the list of hot new sex moves!?

90. Self-conscious about being loud? Turn your stereo up to full blast, then moan as loudly as you desire.

I love having sex while blasting loud music. It makes it easier to let loose. - Casper, 23 [Cosmopolitan.com]

91. Lick his fingers before he touches your nipples. The wetness eases movement and increases sensation

Here's a fun little experiment. Count how many times Cosmo says the word "nipples". I'm sorry, but I can't give them credit for this one. They told you to touch the nipples, tweak the nipples, lick the nipples, suck the nipples... They even told you to put mint lip balm on the nipples. But the fact that they can repackage wetting your fingers before touching any body part as abrand new sex tip is hilarious.

92. Have him touch either side of your clitoris, where there are loads of nerves.

Apparently women have this thing called a clitoris and it has loads of nerves. Thank you Cosmo for letting us know.

Have him start with a tease by holding his first and second fingers in a V, placing them on either side of your clitoris, and massaging in a scissoring motion. [October 2009]

93. Lie next to him on the bed, with your head by his feet. Then manually stimulate each other.

While lying side by side, grab one of his hands, and use it to stimulate your clitoris. - Samantha, 25 [Cosmopolitan.com]

94. Wait in his car when he's leaving for work. Give him a quick BJ before he drives off.

Talk about a crazy new move - I bet no one has ever thought of giving oral sex in the car before!

...pull him into the car and go at it [October 2009]

95. Ask him to tug your lips (down there!) gently while he's thrusting inside you.

Um... no thank you.

96. Keep ice water on your nightstand. Dip your fingers in it, and flick it on his nipples.

...ice and water. The sensation of cold ice on hot skin can be extremely arousing. [September 2009]

Switch off the AC, and take turns running an ice cube all over each other's body. [August 2009]

97. Drop lube in the tip of a condom presex - it'll boost sensations for him.

Cosmo also apparently thinks they invented the concept of putting lube in a condom. I guess, since they think they discovered the brand new amazing invention that is personal lubricant, then why not extend those delusions?

Using a condom? Put a small amount inside the tip before rolling it over his shaft. 'Many guys complain that a condom diminishes the sensation ... Adding a little lube ups the sensitivity he feels inside the latex. [August 2009]

98. During oral, gently knead his testicles with the heel of your hand.

Encircle his testicles at the base, massaging them lightly between your thumb and index finger [September 2009]

99. Pull his hair as he finishes. His scalp has tons of nerve endings, so it'll feel amazing.

....run your fingers through his hair (there are lots of nerve endings in the scalp, so it feels tingly). [August 2009]

After climax, a guy's head can feel overheated and tingly. If you gently pull his hair and massage his scalp, it will quickly relax him. - Chris, 29 [Cosmopolitan.com]

Hair pulling is pretty hot - unless she's pulling so hard that I'm afraid some might come out. [November 2009]

After 99 of these tips, I'm about to pull my hair out.

Pepsi Refresh Project: Support Brilliant Writing in the Blogosphere

Oh look, another awesome creation from Deb on the Rocks. Since we first met her at BlogHer last year, we've learned that following her lead is never a bad move, and this time she's out to change the entire blogging community for the better with the idea that she submitted to the Pepsi Refresh Project.

We're going to copy her post about this from earlier today, because she said we could and because there's no way we could explain this better than she can. Check it out:

We Can Create A Foundation to Support Bloggers!

I believe supporting the Arts is one of the important ways we better our world. Service takes many forms, and all are necessary: the gifted content creators in the blogosphere are artists, and my life is so much better --our culture is so much better -- because of their work. The heart and soul of blogging, the truth of self-expression online, is so much more than the ridiculous few business models we've tried to use to support our artists.

For many of us, creating content and publishing online is our Parisian salon, our Algonquin Round Table, our Bread Loaf. We are a community of creatives. We know that publishing is a sacrifice, a commitment, the rushing, moving channel for our art, and we want to make way for the highest quality in online work to be supported whether or not it appeals to corporate sponsors. And are devoted to our community of creatives, even when we truly know each other: we are united in our passions, connected in doing what we are drawn to do. Every writer I know has said that her work has improved because of the practice of writing online, the feedback of audiences, and the exposure to other gifted, brave, vanguard authors. We know the value of quality and necessity of blogging, which is what makes us so very generous with our own limited finances when one of our own is in need.

I've often wondered why our rich tech brothers haven't become like the Medici's in Renaissance Italy. Why haven't they stepped up to fund creative development, or to create a foundation to protect our burgeoning art form and its creators? I'd like to encourage them and other related businesses to do so--and not solely by giving us free printers to review. Printers, coupons and samples of cleaning products don't pay emergency room doctor bills or get the electricity reconnected.

As a patron of the arts, I've donated money to many structured emergency relief funds. They are so important, so useful, in helping artists and writers continue to work despite financial setbacks. What if bloggers could have access to a fund like:

the Craft Emergency Relief Fund, which helps craft artists

the ASJA Writers Assistance Fund, for nonfiction freelancers

the PEN American Writers Fund for published writers

the William A. Graham Artist Emergency Fund, which helps visual artists

or other public, private, regional or local funds.

We have an opportunity to build this thing. I've submitted a request for a seed grant to start the process, from Pepsi's Refresh Everything crowd-sourced corporate giving project. This is what they are doing with the money they saved by not airing a ridiculously expensive Superbowl ad. This is an amazing gesture toward a future that is more authentic because of crowd-sourcing, and because of what we do every day in this space.

I've just put the idea out there to see if bloggers think that our art form needs this type of support. Do you? If so, please register and vote, and share the news. Republish parts or all of this post. Promote on social media. Do what you do, begin to protect what you love. The top two ideas in the funding category will be funded each month. If you have ideas of your own, submit it now for the next round on voting in March.

How it works:

1. Easy registration.
2. Vote every day in February.
3. Promote the link.

If you would like an email each day reminding you to vote, please email me at debontherocks@gmail.com to be added to the list. It's a very cool list to be on, but it won't be used for any other reason.

I'm offering up this idea because I love us. Even those of us who drive me crazy--sometimes especially them. I love what we do, and that we are lucky enough to do it. My heart breaks when economic suffering or personal and family crises gets in the way of creating for such brilliant people. I'd like to give us a chance to claim this next step in our medium's development. Please join me.

----------------------------

Here's that link one more time: http://www.refresheverything.com/blogging. It's really quick and easy to vote, either by registering with Pepsi's site or with your facebook account. And if you like this idea, head over to Deb's post and leave a comment there. (You can comment here too, we love comments, but Deb deserves a huge show of support for this idea.) Please pass this on to all of the bloggers that you know and love, and don't forget to vote!

The AFA Embraces Hypocrisy in Support of Pro-Life Super Bowl Ad

I decided to check in with the American Family Association to see if they had weighed in on the Tim Tebow/Focus on the Family Super Bowl ad controversy. I figured they wouldn't miss the chance for one of their famous action alerts, and sure enough:

Urge CBS to stand firm on airing pro-life Tebow Super Bowl ad

Our good friends at Focus on the Family have purchased time during this year's Super Bowl broadcast to air a compelling pro-life ad featuring Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow and the decision his mother made 23 years ago to give birth to her unborn son when doctors were urging her to abort him.

CBS has come under withering fire from the left for its decision to air this ad. Joy Behar of "The View" even said abortion would have been an appropriate choice since there was no way for Tim's mom to know that he wouldn't grow up to be a "rapist pedophile."

I must have missed the meeting where we elected Joy Behar as the official spokeswoman for "the left". I'm also going to assume that what Joy meant was that 'don't ever have an abortion because you might give birth to a future college football star!' is not necessarily the world's best argument.

The hypocrisy here is thick. Abortion proponents claim to be all about choice, but they are outraged over an ad that features a woman exercising her right to choose life for her baby son.

Yes, of course that's precisely why we're outraged. As usual the AFA has its finger right on the pulse of the pro-choice movement. And apparently by "the hypocrisy here is thick", the AFA means here in this action alert:

Unfortunately, CBS sent a signal this week that it would be willing to accept "responsibly produced" ads that promote abortion or homosexuality. But a message that promotes death or sexual deviancy is not the moral equivalent of a message that celebrates life, and CBS must be urged to reject any such advocacy ads.

CBS needs to hear from all of us who support the decision to air the Tebow ad.

So while most feminist and liberal groups are arguing that if CBS is going to accept anti-choice ads, they should also be willing to accept advocacy ads from the other side of the political spectrum (several of which they've rejected in the past), the AFA is arguing that only ads that conform to their moral standards should be accepted. And while most feminists are simply asking that CBS clearly state exactly what their new policy is regarding advocacy ads so that the playing field is more level, the AFA is apparently fine with CBS cherry-picking ads and providing vague explanations as long as it means that only AFA-approved ads ever make the cut. And of course the morals card is used to justify their stance.

This morality argument was explored further in a post by Bryan Fischer on the AFA's blog.

Below is a letter I wrote today in response to a CBS affiliate manager in Roanoke, Virginia, who told a member of the AFA network that if a station chooses to air one advocacy ad (e.g., the Tim Tebow ad) they must be prepared to air any and all advocacy ads (e.g., an ad promoting abortion or a homosexual dating service.)

---

Dear Jeff,

One of our constituents was kind enough to forward on to us your reply regarding the airing of advocacy ads.

I can only imagine how thrilled Jeff's going to be when he receives our boy Bryan's letter.

I'd like to kindly challenge you on one point. You expressed that once one advocacy ad is aired, you have some kind of moral obligation to air all advocacy ads. But I'm quite sure you do not believe this in practice, for I'm guessing you would turn down an advocacy ad for the KKK or for neo-Nazis and feel quite correct in doing so. Please correct me if I am wrong.

I guess we should be glad that he compared a pro-choice ad to a neo-Nazi ad rather than just straight up going for the Hitler comparison.

Now what this means in practice is that if an ad represents a morally objectionable point of view in your judgment, you rightly feel quite free to reject the ad.

The bottom line here is that ads that promote abortion promote the practice of putting an innocent human life to death. Ads that promote the normalization of homosexual behavior promote behavior that is so dangerous and unhealthy that the FDA - hardly a right-wing religious organization - will not allow a man to donate blood if he has had sex with another male even a single time since 1977.

According to the CDC (again, not a right wing organization), homosexual behavior is the single greatest risk factor in acquiring HIV/AIDS. The second highest risk factor is IV drug use. You surely would not accept an ad that promoted IV drug use, but homosexual behavior is even more dangerous than that.

This would put you on solid moral, social and cultural ground to reject any such ads. An ad that celebrates life can hardly be considered the moral or social equivalent of an ad that promotes the death of unborn children or a dangerous and destructive lifestyle.

So are we all clear now? Anti-choice ads are innocent and beautiful celebrations of life, while pro-choice and pro-gay ads are morally bankrupt death orgies that may as well be promoting Nazism. It's so admirable that Bryan has the courage and compassion to look for common ground on this divisive issue.